thirty-one weeks

I sought the Lord and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 43:4

Hazel and I, and Tyler and Nyla, are doing well. A week after I got home from the hospital, I had a sonogram and a doctor appointment. My fluid level was almost exactly the same as when I left the hospital (11.8 cm versus 11.6 cm) and Hazel was estimated 3 lbs. 3 oz.

Now I had another follow up sonogram today (one week later than the last one) to measure the fluid level again, and this time it was 10 cm and she weighed about 3 lbs. 10 oz. At this rate she should be about 8 lbs. at the due date, but we’re all pretty much hoping I go into labor earlier than that like I did with Nyla (she was born at 36 ½ weeks for no apparent reason and weighed 6 lbs. 2 oz.). My doctor will be on vacation when I’m about 38-39 weeks so I think we’d both like to be done before she leaves. When I had Nyla it was the morning she was leaving on vacation so it worked out nicely that I had such a fast labor and she could be on her way. :)

At both sonograms Hazel’s measurements were still right on with her due date. Well… everything, but her head… It measures almost 2 weeks further along than anything else! This is really no surprise though since Tyler and I both have big heads, and so does Nyla. The size of my stomach measures about a week less than the due date so I guess she must be all tucked up in there tightly. On the recent sonograms when I see the odd shape of my bladder, due to having her head smashed into the side of it, it really makes me cringe!

I have felt pretty good since I’ve been home. It’s been two weeks since I left the hospital and I feel significantly more normal than I did the first couple days after I got home. At first I was feeling tired and overstimulated and like I couldn’t do anything and didn’t have any control over Nyla, but that is all passing fairly quickly. I’m still feeling kind of antisocial and self-absorbed, like the only thing that matters in life right now is getting Hazel here and spending time with Tyler and Nyla. Life and priorities and the things I am currently interested in just seem different after being in the hospital for a month. I don’t feel like a very good friend or much fun to hang out with right now, but I’m working on it.

Now I will continue to go to doctor appointments weekly and live life as normal as possible till I go into labor on my own, hopefully no earlier than 36 weeks. If earlier than that, Hazel would probably be flown to Wesley Medical Center in Wichita if she was showing any signs of prematurity.

So… Not a very exciting update, but that’s a good thing and hopefully I won’t have a lot else to say about it till Hazel is born!

Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him, and He will help you. Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act. Psalm 37:5,7

manes and tails

For those that just started reading my blog when I was admitted to the hospital, today is more the type of thing I shared about before that time. Actually I blog about random things, and I’ll definitely still keep updating about this pregnancy and Hazel, but for today I’m back to more of the family update type stuff, which you may or may not be interested in, depending on your reason for reading my blog.

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This weekend was beautiful weather and on Saturday morning we took Nyla to see the mini donkeys at a friend’s farm northwest of Quinter (nearer to Hoxie). We had originally been planning to do that the week I was admitted to the hospital.

It worked out great to go this weekend since both Grandmas got to come. And the weather was perfect.

Feeding Cowboy, one of the donkeys

Meeting Luke, the other donkey (Boy do I need to get a little sun or what?!)

Yee-haw!

Cowboy was a great sport, but he did finally shoot out from under Nyla when he saw Kristin (our friend, the owner) coming with a lead rope. Cathy had Nyla by the belt loops so she didn't hit the ground, but she did decide that was enough riding for the day. ;)

So a day after the donkey warm up, Nyla was ready to ride one of Grandpa Kenny's horses, Swede, for the first time!

Well, actually… This was probably her first time on Swede, last August. She did not like it at all so we haven't tried it again since then.

However she’s warmed up to the horses over the last several months, and after her fun mini donkey ride, she is loving it. This is for sure her first time actually riding around with a saddle.

She was so relaxed she was singing “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” and saying, “Let’s keep riding!”

home sweet home

I didn’t go into much detail when I blogged last week so here is some more of the scoop. I’m basically supposed to lay low for 2 weeks, and then after that, we can be “normal” for the remainder of the pregnancy. It’s not like it will ever really be normal, and I certainly wouldn’t count on normal at this point, but after 2 weeks, I can have a fairly normal activity level including lifting Nyla (I specifically asked about this because she is a heavy kid!), light exercise, walking, traveling, etc. I’ll probably never be very active anyway since normal day-to-day stuff makes me so tired right now after lying in a hospital bed for a month. Plus I’ll just be getting bigger and bigger and more tired and uncomfortable like any pregnant woman would. :)

I have a doctor appointment this Thursday, with my doctor here in Quinter, and then we’ll see what kind of follow up and monitoring she wants to do from there. I also have sonograms this Thursday and next Thursday to confirm that my fluid level is remaining normal. For a couple of weeks (or I don’t know how long), I’m supposed to take my temperature every day for the off chance that an infection could have set in before I sealed up. I assume I’ll go back to having Hazel’s heartbeat checked once a week like I did before the leak problem came about, and you can believe I will never complain about that again! After having the heartbeat checked 4 times a day for the last month, I will welcome the once a week trip to the clinic. :) I don’t have any reason to go back to Wichita unless a new complication arises (as my doctor-friend said, she reserves the right to send me back if I get all funky again.)

My first outing since before I went to the hospital was church on Sunday morning. I’m not sure I’ve ever been so excited to go to church in all my life! And I’ve definitely never received applause for being there. I was exhausted by the time it was over, but it was a lot of fun. On the way home Nyla kept hollering that she wanted to go back to Sunday School. She loves her teachers and the kids she gets to see there.

A strange thing… I am missing some things from the hospital. Even though I didn't want to be there, I think it just became my new routine in life and it’s hard to change back to something new again. I find myself watching the TV shows that I watched only when I was in the hospital, just because I watched them there. And I’m regretting not bringing my water pitcher home (was trying not to be a pack rat). I miss the nurses that I was getting to know, and even though of course they were paid to do it, I felt like they really wanted to take care of me. I’ll always remember that the first one I had there was named Hazel. And that one of the nurses there grew up coming to the very house where I live now, because it was her grandparent’s. And… that I started liking gravy on my potatoes and, more notably, syrup on my pancakes while I was there. It’s lame, I know!

I’ve said this before but, it’s such a roller coaster one minute thinking that Hazel will be born June 15th (when I’m 34 weeks along) and that I will be in the hospital in Wichita till then (plus a few weeks after she is born). And now we’re back to planning on going till the 40 week due date, which is July 29th. And if it goes like my first pregnancy experience, we could simply drive the 2-3 blocks to the hospital in Quinter and come home 2 days later. What a major change in plans compared to what we had a few days ago! However, it will still be a big “your guess is as good as mine” as far as when she’ll actually be born, since Nyla came about 3 ½ weeks before her due date. (Nyla was fine and there was no apparent reason for it. She was just ready.)

When I thought of being in the hospital for 9+ weeks, having Hazel there for 2-3 more, and then finally coming back home with a preemie in tow, it honestly sounded like a bit of a nightmare to me. We would get through it, and I know there are worse things, but I am so thankful to have some time to come home so Nyla and Tyler and everyone can adjust back to having me here, before Hazel makes her grand entry into our household.

some kind of wonderful

Side note: I wrote this yesterday and really wanted to post it yesterday, but Blogger was having some sort of technical issue for over 24 hours. So here it is now…

Yesterday I was told by one doctor that I’m a medical mystery. I was told by another that I’m the most complicated OB patient she’s ever had.

Yesterday these were great things as they basically translated to me going home!

About 8am I had an exam that looked fine, and the ferning test as well as AmniSure test were both negative. The AmniSure is the big one for detecting amniotic fluid and the doctor gave it a good 10 minutes to change to positive (that’s the max amount of time to watch it). The ones I did a month ago went positive right away. So the last thing was to get a sonogram and verify that my fluid levels were still as high as they were a week ago. A week ago the level was 7.7 cm and yesterday it was 11.8!

Tyler was coming to Wichita early in the morning since I was doing these tests. We didn’t think we’d get them done all in the morning, and we didn’t think we’d get results and talk to the doctor till late afternoon. But it was all completely done by about noon (even talking with the doctor), and by early afternoon, we were headed home!

I was in the hospital for 29 days, was guaranteed I wouldn’t leave till Hazel was born, and expected to be there about another 35 days before that would even happen. I would be induced right at 34 weeks along. The plan now is to stay in Quinter and carry Hazel to full term.

So, how did this happen?

It could not be anything other than God’s gift to me and my family, and the result of your prayers. Two nights ago a nurse told me she’s never seen anyone in this situation get retested and get to go home before their baby is born. The doctor told me that in the last 3 years she’s only seen 2 women get to go home. So I am only the 3rd.

So yesterday went like clockwork with one success after another and it was clear to the doctors that it was safe for me to leave. My leak healed.

I’m still getting all settled in so that’s all I’m going to write for now, but I just wanted to be sure and share that good news with everyone. God heard the prayers sent up on our behalf, and there really aren’t the right words to thank you all for that. It was the prayers and it was God. It’s clear that’s how we got to go home.

Tyler and Nyla haven't been to church since I've been in the hospital (since they visited me on weekends) so all 3 of us are looking forward to seeing everyone on Sunday. :)

another possible turn of events

I’m not sure where to start or how to keep a long story short, but here is the latest…

Due to the fact that on Friday my fluid level was normal, and unchanged from the day I got here, the doctors have decided to test the fluid level again this Thursday. And if it’s again the same, they plan to do the initial tests over again that we did the day I got here. (There were four different tests and I’m not sure if we’re doing them all or just the main one(s)). I just found out this morning that at least one of the doctors was never convinced I was ruptured. (What?!) A couple of doctors were certain I was ruptured. And a few doctors are now saying that I could have been ruptured, but if it was a high and small leak, it may have healed back over, which is very rare, but if the tests come up negative this Thursday, we could talk about me going home. (Again, I say, what?!)

This is not the first time there have been questions about the diagnosis. That’s what makes it such an emotional rollercoaster. I’m to the point I just want to know one way or the other, whatever that may be, but no one really seems to have a definitive answer. I was all settled in and now it’s all up in the air again.

It is very rare for a leak to seal and heal over, but if it ever were to happen on someone, my case would make sense since my symptoms have been less than obvious since the first day. And now that it seems my fluid level is remaining stable, and I’m not seeing the leaking that originally brought me into the doctor, it’s at least a possibility. (Also, the first time we did the tests, some were positive and some were negative.)

So if the test results are positive this time, then I for sure stay here for the remainder of the pregnancy. If they are negative, then I go home (with a thousand questions). And if they are still uncertain (some positive, some negative), I stay here. Much more than likely I’ll stay here as originally planned, but it’s still hard not to think about the idea of going home when there’s even a tiny chance.

The bottom line is that I would ask for your prayers about all of this, this week. Pray for clear test results. Pray for my patience and sanity. Pray for the doctors to make the right decision on whether I should stay here or not. And honestly what I want to pray for the most is that the test results come out good on Thursday and that I’ll get to go home for a while! That may not turn out to be God's plan, but it doesn't hurt to ask, right? :) Above all, pray for Hazel’s health and safety no matter what we do – whether it's to stay here or go home.

making memories

Movie time in my hospital room on Friday night

Saturday, Tyler and Nyla went to the Sedgwick County Zoo.  

Nyla posed in front of the mama and baby giraffe.

Riding the wooden bull... And yes that is a gigantor booger hanging out of her nose. It was still there a couple hours later when Tyler and Nyla got back to the hospital! (I guess it's not showing up as obvious now since my pictures get a little blurry when I load them into the blog. But I can still see it.)

Riding the wooden horse. I don't think I've ever seen her on a real saddle before. The closest I've seen her to riding a horse is when Grandpa Kenny sets her on one, bareback, in the corral. She's never been too thrilled with that, but I think horses are starting to grow on her.

Strutting her stuff at the petting zoo. She went around singing "Baa Baa Black Sheep." When she doesn't have anything to say, she runs her mouth by singing. Constantly. And it doesn't seem like it makes a difference if anyone is watching or not. I'm not sure she even notices.

A good college friend, Sonya, came down to visit me and brought some delicious barbecue for supper. Nyla really doesn't even know her, and rarely ever falls asleep on someone's lap, but Sonya had the magic touch.

Three days in row Tyler and Nyla pushed me down to the courtyard, which Nyla calls the park, and they raced up and down the sidewalk countless times while I relaxed and watched.

Getting ready to race

Another gross picture of me, but I thought Nyla looked cute so I'm posting it anyway. This was soon after we woke up and ate breakfast this morning. We'll call it the "Sunday School picture." One of Nyla's favorite places to go is Sunday School, but she hasn't been able to since they've been visiting me on the weekends. So Nyla and I were reading The Beginner's Bible for Toddlers. (I'm trying to remember if this was before or after Nyla dropped a 12 oz. chocolate milk on the floor in the cafeteria and it spray all over 3 or 4 people... Anyhow...)

Back in the courtyard

twenty-eight weeks + zero days

Today is a milestone for a couple of reasons. First, once you hit 28 weeks, babies that are born after that point just tend to do a lot better than babies born before that point. Also, 28 weeks means I’m officially entering the 3rd trimester. :)

Today was a routine sonogram and Hazel looks great. Overall, the sonogram said Hazel is 28 weeks + 6 days so I was hoping that would mean moving the due date up, but no such luck. ;) She is obviously growing well, though. She weighs 2 lb. 11 oz. and I was even surprised to get to see a 3D picture of her, which I didn’t know they would do that, and I’ve never seen a 3D sono before in real life. My fluid level was 7.7 cm, which is good because it’s darn near the same as it was when I got here almost a month ago (although I’m not sure what the official reading was then).

Here’s an amniotic fluid index (AFI) chart. A normal measure for the 3rd trimester is between 5 and 25 centimeters, with it starting out higher and gradually decreasing as you near the end of the pregnancy. A total of less than 5 cm is considered low, so with mine at 7.7, it’s still just inside the normal range.

This week I’ve started a daily exercise routine. It already feels like I’m really doing something just to walk down the hall. That’s not a good thought! Also, it feels pretty lame to think of doing exercises in bed, but even something like leg lifts and arm circles feels really good when all you’ve been doing is lying around. I try to walk down the halls at least once a day, but it’s embarrassing when all the visitors are staring at you and all the nurses think they need to talk to you. And if I happen to wear makeup, look out because compliments will be coming from every direction. I don’t know if they are just trying to be nice or what, but what I’m hearing is what a huge difference it makes when I wear it!

Yesterday if I had blogged, it may have been a little more depressing. I’m tired all the time from not getting good sleep (and maybe just from being here?), which when you’re overtired everything just seems more dismal and irritating than it really is. But last night was by far the best night of sleep I’ve had since I got here. So with that, the good sonogram, and the fact that Tyler and Nyla will be here after lunch, the day is looking pretty good.

Oh, and for those that still had doubts, it was confirmed once again that Hazel is a girl. I’ve got multiple pictures of girl parts from multiple technicians over the course of the pregnancy, so everyone can relax now and know that Hazel won’t surprise us (especially now that we've already named her) by popping out as a boy. :)

frequently asked questions

What is the nonstress test (NST) all about? The NST is done to determine how well the baby is doing inside the uterus. You are placed on a fetal monitor for 20-40 minutes to track the baby’s heart rate and any contractions (the same thing they use during labor and delivery). The doctors want to see that the baby moves at least twice in twenty minutes (Hazel always moves a countless number of times) and that the heart rate increases with movement (fetal reactivity). If the NST is nonreactive, it doesn’t mean anything is wrong. It just means there’s not enough information to evaluate the environment inside the uterus. So then a biophysical profile (BPP) may be ordered. I have had an NST daily since I've been here and have not yet had to do the BPP. I’ll tell you about it when/if I ever have to do it. The only thing I've done is repeat the NST later in the day (seemed Hazel was sleeping the first time) or had monitoring for an extended period of time versus the 20-40 minutes. Both times she ended up looking great.

If you go into labor much before 34 weeks will they try to stop it? No. When you have a preterm rupture (aka the water breaks too early), it’s kinda just a matter of time till you go into labor anyway, and it’s believed that when you do, there’s probably a reason the baby needs to get out now. For example, an infection starting or fluid level getting too low or something like that. When you rupture anytime close to full-term, they don’t even let you go more than 24 hours that way without inducing labor. There are increased risks the longer you are in that condition.

Are you still leaking? Just barely a trickle. But a leak is a leak.

How often do you have sonograms? About once every 4 weeks, unless there’s some reason to do it sooner. The only one I’ve had since I’ve been here was on the night I arrived. Will have the next one toward the end of this week or early next week.

Do you have to have a c-section? Not because of the rupture. At this point the plan is to induce me right at 34 weeks. I’d only have a c-section for other reasons that would come up, like if the baby was breech or in distress or something like that.

Are you sure you’re having a girl? Yep! I’ve had countless sonograms this pregnancy and multiple technicians have confirmed it’s a girl. But just for good measure, when I get the next sonogram, I’ll ask one last time. :)

Is Hazel a family name? Nope! We just like old-fashioned names. Olive was also a front runner, but Hazel is the one that stuck.



Do you care that in this picture you don’t have on any makeup, still have on the same clothes you had on yesterday or that you have bedhead? Ok so that's not really an FAQ... I guess I care enough to mention it, but not enough to do anything about it. The point of this picture is really the baby bump, and it was time for a updated one before any more time passes. However I definitely won’t show myself in a picture sans makeup two times in a row! As the nurses and janitor have confirmed by the looks on their faces, there is quite a difference in how I look with versus without! ;)

twenty-seven weeks + two days

Nothing really new here baby wise. A good thing. :)

On Thursday night, Tyler met my parents in Salina so Nyla could go to their house for a couple of days. So he came here on his own and worked from my room on Friday. Two of Tyler’s aunts visited on Friday, and then on Saturday, a lifelong friend, Amanda, came and visited me from Garden City (she's the mom of Nyla's Wildcat tutu friend). Then my parents brought Nyla down on Saturday so she could stay over one night at the hospital with Tyler and I. Oh, and how could I almost forget that on Saturday, I got to go outside for the first time in 17 days! I know it was really windy most places, but Tyler, Nyla and my parents wheeled me down to the hospital's courtyard, which is sort of enclosed between the hospital buildings, so it was sunny and perfect. Thank goodness for Amanda bringing me my first pair of sunglasses in years! I never wear sunglasses normally, but after being indoors for that long I definitely needed them.

I didn't pass the glucose screening on Friday (this is a regular test done on all pregnant mothers toward the end of the 2nd trimester), so then I had to do the 3-hour glucose tolerance test on Saturday to determine if I had gestational diabetes or not. I wasn't too excited about that because I was thinking it would really stink to lose one of the few freedoms I feel like I have left -- to eat whatever I want. I know that is selfish thinking, and I'm sure I would have thrown myself at least a small pity party, but I did pass it, which I am grateful for. One less thing to deal with for Hazel, and a perk for me. My hormones are raging and I really would have been sad to throw away that box of krispy kreme doughnuts!

Then today I had another fun set of visitors -- Kelli, Shelly G., Andrea, Tiffany and Tracie (I don't like to divulge too many last names via my blog, but if you're from Quinter, you can probably figure them out). The five of them came down here together to see me! They brought me all kinds of goodies, as well as we had Papa John's pizza in my room for lunch. Sometimes it's hard for me to believe I have such great friends, but I really really do!

I've actually had quite a few visitors off and on throughout the week, but there's just a rundown of the weekend for you. To finish it off, Tyler, Nyla and I skyped this evening for the first time, after they got home. (For those that don't know, that's video calling on your computer so you can talk face-to-face.) Nyla seemed very excited about it and giggled through most of the conversation. At the end she said, "I love you, Mommy," and blew me a kiss. What a great way to end the day.

Last random thought... A truth for today:

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. Philippians 4:6-7

Sometimes I feel a little guilty that I’m not more miserable here. I’m sure it’s easier to tolerate for me than for someone more active and social, like Tyler, for example. ;) But the days have gone so fast thus far and I have been fairly content, busy and fully trusting that the doctors are taking good care of me and Hazel. Some people may think I don’t worry enough, but I feel like others do enough worrying on my behalf. I know you don't want to be careless, but I feel like for the most part, it’s all pretty much out of my control. And I know that God has been with me every moment because I feel such a peace in this situation that could only possibly come from Him.

Please pray that it all continues this way and that Hazel will be able to come into the world safely before we know it.